Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Clash Of The Titans Rules! (The Original)
These remakes are getting out of hand! Can I honestly be expected to believe that Hollywood cannot find good original scripts to develop into movies nowdays? Why does every other film being made seem to be a sequal or remake??
The latest victim of this senseless plagerism is the classic 1981 Ray Harryhausen film "Clash Of The Titans". It was the best movie ever done based on Greek mythology (though Jason & The Argonauts is right up there as well) and featured a long list of acclaimed actors among its cast.
You can argue that the 1981 original had better effects than the remake. CGI, to me, is comical and obvious. It all looks like animation to me and nothing close to believable. Miniatures and stop- motion looks much more life- like in my opinion, and as a result, I think special effects look much better 20 or 30 years ago than they do with today's technology. And most movies of the action variety today base everything on the special effects, including the COTT remake.
The original had action at times, and fights, but never let it get inb the way of the story. There was a lot of quiet diaogue and quiet moments, like the nightly visitations when the crow takes Andromeda to the swamps to be with Calibus. Or the long scene when Perseus first meets the Burgess Meredith character in the coliseum and is presented with his first gifts from the gods.
During the whole film the music was mostly string based instruments and flutes- very authentic to the times. With the remake I hear blaring rock music in the trailer! What the motherfuck?? There was no rock music in ancient Greece! That alone made me cringe with disgust. What a shameful way to promote a crappy film. You just lost a major segemt of your audience in the trailer geniuses!
So Let me tell you a story, kiddies. I was at a screening of The Shining last week and after the molvie I am waiting in the lobby for the wife. A group of three kids, students it seemed, are gawking at the movie poster for the new Clash Of The Titans remake. One of them, a young girl all of 16 I believe, says "I REALLY want to see this! It looks so great!" Usually I can let ignorant comments like this go in public. But, this day, after having just seen a classic film like The Shining, I had to make a stand. A stand for Harry Hamlin, for Ursula Andress, for Burgess Meredith, For Ray Harryhausen, for Maggie Smith- and definitely for Hollywood icon Laurence Olivier and his classic portrayal of Zeus.
I said to this clueless teenager "See the classic 1981 original instead. The best take on Greek mythology ever put to film starring film icons Burgess Meredith, Ursula Andress, Maggie Smith, and Laurence Olivier." Her blank- faced response to me was "There was an original?"
At that point I realized that this generation is clueless about art history. If a piece of music or film wasn't on MTV or making 100 billion dollars at the box office- they have no idea it even existed. That is a damn sad realization to live with. Somewhere along the line these kids are just not being educated about the classics and seem devoid of good taste in any manner whatsoever.
Here is a wonderful review I found on IMDB that sums up my thoughts exactly about this travesty that calls itself "Clash Of The Titans::
Badness and worthlessness of this movie leaves me speechless.
Usually, there are certain aspects of a movie you like or dislike. One could agree or disagree certain take that director chose to do, certain changes, something that was below par, something that could have been better, that one could talk about. However, in this case, the task of reviewing this movie is difficult as from the very first scene to the last scene this movie is one unbearable, soul-less, boring, ugly and horrible disaster.
The original is a classic! It has heart, romance, soul, humor, sweetness, feel of an epic, beauty, nobility, overall feeling of an adventure, a quest, and yes it also had certain spooky quality, and deviousness.
This remake has NONE of those qualities. As if lacking anything interesting or worth liking was not enough, this movie tortures you with horrible darkness and senselessness. A fisherman comes up with empty catch, so declares war on Gods. Really? Why even be a fisherman then? Just sit at home and demand food and other necessities be delivered to you, and if that doesn't happen, just declare war on Gods.
From Andromedae to Zeus, the characters are either evil or robotic. Its a world of mindless creatures. There is no way to get emotionally involved, even though you go to the theater with every intention to like it, and enjoy and give it every break possible.
The girl playing Andromedae doesn't even appear to be a leading lady and appears to be sick and weak. The Princess is a meaningless entity in this movie. She was his love in the original. Even the monster, the Kraken is boring. Medusa left a permanent scar in the original, but here it just might be a giant mindless snake. However, the soldiers trying to kill her are even more determined to be killed by her gaze. One of them could have simply avoided that fate, but the writers probably ran out of script for him, so he had no choice but to gaze straight in Medusa's eyes.
Just a bad movie. Avoid it at all cost. I am disgusted the time and money I wasted on this one. There is absolutely nothing, not one thing in this movie that is worth cherishing."